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April 15, 2013
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Can I tell you how I died?
Why it rhymes with suicide.

Not because, I fell ill.
Not because, I swallowed pills.

Soon you'll see why I lie still.

Not because, I have drowned.
Not because of, Russian Roulette's

last round.

Deaf words of mine,
preach no sound.

Not because, the fault of life
Not because, the sharpened knife.

Real reason, why, tears went dry.

Not because, I jumped to fall.
Not because, this body I mauled.

The more I remember,
the harder too recall.

The true answer is i'm,

alive.

But to me,

the meaning of suicide:

Is
 that
  you
   left
     me
      dead
        inside.
This has no relevance to my feelings, it was just a poem that flowed through my mind in the shower so I decided to write it :/
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:iconkumamichi:
you showed that suicide is not was has been done but a person died on the inside a thought it point less to live on the outside that they just broke and couldn’t wouldn’t take it any more so now they lie dead like your poem says
it is truly a beautiful poem that deserves respect and has great Technique and a heavy impact but i do suggest you write about what is relevant to your feelings so that it means something to you so you can forever cherish it and so you write with passion i loved it though
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:iconshaymind:
shaymind Featured By Owner May 3, 2014
my first though was honestly "genocide rhymes with suicide". a skilled poem, though expecting genocide weakened the impact- so it's not an idiot proof poem(though what is?). still, it was intrugining, and quite moving despite my idioticy.
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:iconellen-souler:
Ellen-Souler Featured By Owner May 3, 2014  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
I put that word in that poem? I don't remember such things
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:iconshaymind:
shaymind Featured By Owner May 3, 2014
"Can I tell you how I died? ~ Why it rhymes with suicide. " - from the poem.  ~ indicating line breaks like in enter.

my imidiate reaction: "genocide rhymes with suicide". i'd say i have a morbid mind, but it's really more like a jailbreaked one- the safeties turned off so it'll go dark as causually as it'll go light.
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:iconmsqueenb:
MsQueenB Featured By Owner Oct 24, 2013
heavy, thats all i can say :)
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:iconxanatos-leo:
Xanatos-Leo Featured By Owner Aug 20, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
this is beautiful ;-; and means a lot <3
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:iconellen-souler:
Ellen-Souler Featured By Owner Aug 22, 2013  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
thanks 
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:iconxanatos-leo:
Xanatos-Leo Featured By Owner Sep 18, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
no prob ^^ <3
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:iconisleintheskye:
IsleintheSkye Featured By Owner May 21, 2013  Student Writer
Perfect, absolutely without cliche!
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:iconellen-souler:
Ellen-Souler Featured By Owner May 22, 2013  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
Thank you so much and for the watch your too kind
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:iconisleintheskye:
IsleintheSkye Featured By Owner May 22, 2013  Student Writer
You're welcome!
Reply
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